you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize