I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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