he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
In America we eat man semen.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
