Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
