My nipple is on Facebook.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
