i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
