I think my fart just growled at me.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Randomize
