i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
