another moral hangover. fuck.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
