Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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