this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
