i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
