you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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