For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
