I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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