Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
