I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Randomize
