goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
