it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
