hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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