My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Randomize
