I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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