I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
