You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
