I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
