And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
