And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
