he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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