she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
You did what with his pubic hair?
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