Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
