i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
