Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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