he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
