...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
