I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
