Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
