Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
