I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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