I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
