i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Semen is not good for contacts.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
