my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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