Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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