Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
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