trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
