I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Farmville is her only friend.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
