and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
