i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
