He is an equal opportunity slut.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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