I love watching others lives come down to our level.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
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