I puked a lego.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
