Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Randomize