when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
