I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
